


More Than a Need, or a Thing You Believe

by shermanerm



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Brief description of a panic attack, Taako Needs A Hug, There's no real way i can describe this, descriptions of dissociation and dissociative behaviour, kind of, rated for language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-04-05 05:23:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14037105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shermanerm/pseuds/shermanerm
Summary: "Behind the front counter stood an elf, hair loose around his face and shoulders. He had on possibly the largest hat any of them had ever seen, and he was painting his nails a bright shimmery blue, the same color as the mage hand holding the brush."--Different choices are made by at least two people, which results in Magnus and Merle having a much weirder magic-inclined teammate. Fantasy Costco may still exist, but not on the moon.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Me: I should definitely be writing a second chapter of the selkie stuff  
> Also me: roleswap au where Garfield and taako switch places
> 
> Well, we now know how that turned out.
> 
> Thank you to the Taz Fic Writers discord for, again, enabling me to write weird shit! Special thanks to ManiManTheWriter and DarkrystalSky for beta-ing this for me! you guys are great, and put up with me so much.
> 
> Forgot to mention it last time, but I'm on tumblr, if you want to yell at me about dungeons and the dorks that play in them: panicatthesysco.tumblr.com

The door opened with a jingle of the bell just above it. As the three stepped inside, their eyes drew accustomed to the dim lighting of the establishment. Behind the front counter stood an elf, hair loose around his face and shoulders. He had on possibly the largest hat any of them had ever seen, and he was painting his nails a bright shimmery blue, the same color as the mage hand holding the brush.

“Welcome to Taako’s Tasteful Trinkets and Treats, baskets and store maps are by the door, if you have any questions yell for Taako, cause I’m the only one here.” The elf never looked up from his hands, and his mage hand never wavered in its form. Merle would almost be impressed, if it weren’t for the fact that he was __on the godsdamned moon.__

__

__“__ Hi, um, would you be willing to point me in the direction of-” Magnus stopped speaking when the elf looked up, amber eyes glaring holes through the much larger man.

 

“Listen, boychik, I told you where to find the necessary information. If you come and ask me where to find something that’s literally __on the map__ , you will no longer be allowed in my store. Is that clear?” Through it all, the mage hand kept steady, and the elf’s hand was finished, top coat drying in the slight breeze from the overhead fans.

 

During this, Merle watched Magnus shrink like a drying sponge, head hung low and hands clutching the map. After Taako finished his spiel, Magnus nodded his head, reminding Merle vividly, for a moment, of a chastised Mookie.

 

Magnus opened his mouth, and in the softest voice Merle had ever heard from him, said “I was, uh, I was looking for the nail polish. I, um, couldn’t find it on the map.”

 

There was a long pause, and Merle started walking to the back of the store. He had almost hit the Literature section when he heard “Look, I - that was Taako’s bad, I don’t actually have nail polish yet. How about, um, you pick out what you want, and I can give you a, uh, 5 percent discount. __Or…”__ Taako’s voice fades as Merle walks farther into the aisles.

 

Two books quickly caught his eye - the Compleated Encyclopaedea of the Floura and Fauna of Wyldeshade, which was either incredibly old or incredibly pretentious, or the Extreme Teen Bible, which had the opposite problem. He had a feeling that the bible would really help him as a cleric, but he really didn’t think he would be finding many teens on his travels. (god, he hoped that would be the case.)

 

Reaching up as high as he could, Merle could just barely skim his fingers along the bottom of the shelf holding the Encyclopaedea. Frustrated, he was almost tempted to jump up to grab it, when he was distracted by a flash of blue. Merle glanced over to see Garfield watching him with a shallowly friendly expression. On locking eyes with him, Garfield began walking over. __Shit__.

 

“Well, hello, Merle!” Garfield’s voice grated painfully into Merle’s ears, hell, into his fucking soul. Garfield smiled down at him like he knew Merle was uncomfortable and it gave him power. “Do you need some help with that?”

 

Merle glanced at the Encyclopaedea, and back at Garfield. “Nope, I’m good!” Quickly, he grabbed the Extreme Teen Bible and exited the aisle.  
  
Merle didn’t look at the map when he retreated, so when he finally stopped somewhere half to the back of the store, he didn’t know where he was. There was a lot of different types of junk along the shelves at eye-level, and a sign connected to a shelf above him said “espionage and surveilance” in a curling, lacksidaisical script. A gleaming metal beetle caught his eye, and Merle reached for it. Turning it over, the item was called a “Scuttle buddy”, and it allowed the user to be able to hear what was going on around the room. Merle was definitely intrigued, as neither he nor the others had a high sneak score, and this would allow Merle to know what was going on when he wasn’t in the room.

 

With a crackle above him, a very tinny, very bored voice said “Can Merle Highchurch and Garfield come to the front? Your compatriot wants to go home and he forgot his key.” The voice dissipated like smoke, and Merle started walking to the front, scuttle buddy still in his hand.

 

Once he made it to the front, Merle saw Garfield chatting with the elf behind the counter. As he got closer to the check out line, he could make out their conversation. “…Listen. I don’t make deals. I don’t make trades. If I don’t tell you I want something, then cha’boy most likely didn’t want it.” Taako made a point of not even looking at the items on the counter, choosing instead to stare Garfield down.

 

Garfield continued speaking. “Are you sure you don’t want anything that I have? I’m offering quite a lucrative trade, good sir! I have quite a good selection of magical tools that I’ve accrued over the years!”  
  
The elf stood up to his full height and stared down his impressive nose at Garfield. Merle considered ducking back into the aisles so as to not draw any attention to himself, but decided to stay and watch. Garfield was creepy as hell, he probably deserved what was going to happen.

 

“Look, my dude, I’m. Not. Buying. Your. Shit. You get it yet? Or do you want me to, uh, __spell__ it out for ya?” Taako had his hand resting on the wand at his hip, his body tense. For a few seconds, no one moved.

 

Garfield huffed, pulling his trenchcloak further around himself. “Fine, I understand if you don’t want to make a deal. I’m disappointed, but I understand.” He stepped away from the counter with his purchases, his bag squirming in a way that Merle didn’t want to think about. Once Garfield was out the front doors, Merle stepped up to the counter.

 

Taako was still a little tense, hand by his side. Upon catching sight of Merle, he lowered his hand and blew out a blustery breath. “Why the fuck is your teammate so creepy?” Shaking his head a little, the elf looked down at Merle. “Ready to check out?”

 

“Yeah,” Merle grumbled, as he deposited his items onto the scuffed wooden counter.

 

“So, with the scuttle buddy and the Extreme Teen Bible, that’ll be… 825 gold pieces.”

 

Merle froze with his hand halfway to his coin pouch. “Uh, lemme just…” He pulled out the pouch, counting and recounting his coins. 752 gold pieces, and 47 coppers. Fuck. He looked back up, into Taako’s unimpressed eyes. “Do you uh, happen to have any… loyalty programs?”

 

“Yeah, no.” Taako leaned back and looked Merle over. “However, don’t tell your creepy as fuck buddy out there, but I could be persuaded to buy something of yours. You got anything interesting you’re willing to give up?”

 

Merle felt a weird pressure in a diagonal line across his back. “Uh - yeah, let me check.” He set his pack on the floor, and looked through it. The only interesting things in there were a jade frog, some weird sheets that were covered in something Merle didn’t wanna focus too hard on, and the umbrella from that red-robed skeleton. “Uh, I have an umbrella?”

 

Taako leaned over the counter to look at Merle’s pile. “Can I take a closer loo-” He cut himself off as the umbrella leaped out of Merle’s hand and into his own. Silence rang through the store. After a wide-eyed moment, Taako turned the umbrella over, inspecting the quality fabric and the engraved handle. “I’ll buy it for 200 gold.”

 

“Deal.” Merle stood up quickly, dusting off the knees of his breeches, and did the math. “So I owe you 625 gold for the scuttle buddy and the Bible, right?”

 

Taako, finally taking his eyes off the umbrella, waved a hand. “Eh, make it an even 600.” He bagged up Merle’s items, but just before Merle could grab his shit and leave, he held up a hand. “Remember-”

 

“Don’t tell Garfield, yeah, I know. I wasn’t going to, anyway.” Merle grabbed his bag and left, letting the door close behind him to the tune of Fantasy Carly Rae Jepsen.

 

* * *

 

Back in the dorms, Merle saw Magnus sprawled out on the bottom bunk, snoring softly, arm slung over the side of the narrow bed. Even in the dim light, Merle could see the gold shimmering on Magnus’s nails.


	2. Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to ManiManTheWriter for the beta!

You have been traveling for days. You take the woods because people think you won’t, because you always talk about how much you hate hiking.

The trees are not the same kind that greeted you when you entered the forest. They are older, and wider, and the shadows run darker on the bark. You don’t know where you’re going, but as long as it’s away, it’s as good a direction as any.

You need as much distance as you can get from Glamour Springs.

The trees start to thin a little, little wild paths running around the massive trunks. You continue away from the paths, even though brambles keep catching your pant legs and your tunic. After a point, you don’t even notice the sharp pricks of thorns digging into your shins.

You continue on until the paths are gone again, and that’s when you run into her.

She looks just as tired as you feel. Just as panicked. Just as hunted. She looks at you like she’s seen a ghost. You really hope she’s not from around here.

“My name is Lucretia,” she tells you, as you both start walking again. “Yours?”

You shake your head. You can’t utter your name, not even a whisper. You’re too close to Glamour Springs. You can feel someone looking for you. You wonder if Sazed’s told the militia about you yet.

“Okay,” she says, and you both continue on.

She tells you her story; she’s a collector, and she was on her way home from what could have been the most important acquisition of her career, but she ran into complications. She tells you, as hushed as she can. Her old team is gone. Her new partner is dead.

After that, you both walk in silence, followed by 40 ghosts.

 

* * *

 

 

Two days later, you reach the edge of the woods. Lucretia has been a surprising comfort during the journey, and you’re almost sad to see her go.

Before you can muster up the nerve to walk away from the nicest person you’ve probably ever met, she blurts out “Where are you headed, after this?” She’s looking at you like it matters what your answer is. Not because you’re Taako, the celebrity chef, but because you’re Taako, the dude she’s been walking with for two and a half days.

“I don’t know,” you murmur. You don’t. You’ve got no money, you’re more than likely on the wanted dead or alive list of all the towns in the vicinity, by now. The panic builds, suddenly, like a wave in your chest, in your throat. You can’t breathe, you can’t fucking breathe -

You come to with you head resting on Lucretia’s shoulder. He face is next to your ear, and you can hear her steady breathing as your inhales and exhales begin to match with hers.

After you’re calm again, Lucretia mumbles something.

“Can’t hear ya, Luce,” you croak out, and she jolts like she forgot where she was.

She fidgets a little, which jostles you slightly - you’re still leaning on her, after all. “I, uh, well- okay. How would you like to come work with me?” This time, you both freeze.

You open your mouth, to say yes, to say what the fuck is wrong with her, to say hell no you don’t know her, to say that you’ve missed her so much, but before the jumble of words can come out, Lucretia’s cutting you off.

“I don’t know what you did, or think you did, but. You’re not a bad guy. I can tell. I’ve got a place, with a lot of room, and I need people to help me fill in the blanks. What do you say?”

You shouldn’t. You know you shouldn’t. Istus spare you, it’s a terrible idea.

“Sure,” you say.

It’s not like you have anywhere else to go.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to FaiaHae for the fantastic beta work! If not for them, this would be a lot worse lmao

The Midsummer Solstice Festival was bigger than Magnus expected. He wasn’t sure if there were outside contractors allowed on the moon, or if this was truly how many people lived on base. Either way, the press of the crowd around him was surprising.

Magnus meandered down the path to the food tent, adjusting his robe as it rose up against his calves. Garfield, while not very slight, was still quite a bit smaller than Magnus, so the wizard’s robe was a snug fit. He enjoyed the hat, though, as its bill bobbed in the breeze.

Magnus trod on something squishy, and he heard Merle yelp next to him. Looking down, re realized his boot had caught one of Merle’s tentacles, the illusioned cotton wriggling in pain. “Oh, sorry Merle,” he said, lifting his foot up.

A little bit ahead, Garfield traipsed down the winding Festival path, looking into each booth with interest and yearning. Magnus and Merle trailed behind a few paces, glad of the separation.

Faint strains of ‘The Devil Went Down To Faerun’ wound around Magnus’s head as the crush of the crowd grew stronger close to the food tent. The unmistakable smell of fresh-fried foods were like a lure, and Magnus finally made it to the Fried Conjurer’s booth, where the person running it was in the middle of a heated argument with someone. Someone with a very large hat.

“Look, Patricia,” Taako said, heedless of the woman sputtering in indignation, “I’m pretty sure you have several food service violations in this booth, and you know nothing gets cha’boy angrier than unsafe food practices. Close the fucking stall, or a fireball is the next thing going in the fryer.” Despite the overtly threatening message, Taako’s tone was genial, and he stood relaxed as he leaned against the side of the booth. The dwarven woman glared at Taako for a silent moment, before she hissed “I fucking hate this job,” and flipped the sign above her booth to “closed”.

“Thank you, Patty!” The only response Taako got was Patricia flipping him off as she walked away from the booth. Turning quickly, Taako walked directly into Magnus, hands going up automatically to rest on Magnus’s chest.

“Hey, Taako!” Magnus said, stepping back so he didn’t crowd his friend. “Did you get any nail polishes in, yet?” Magnus had been a bit distraught when his polish had started chipping, but it gave him a reason to talk to Taako, so he didn’t mind too much.

Taako looked zoned out, for a moment, then he blinked and said “Yeah, uh, no, sorry, I don’t think I can justify buying any for the store right now, because there are currently only two people that use it? But, uh , you can come over and I can paint your nails, again, if you want. Or you can borrow some of mine, it’s no big.” Taako waved a hand as he talked, and Magnus saw the bright pink polish shine under the overhead lights. He wished he could pull off pink like Taako could.

At that moment, Magnus’s stomach growled loudly, and Taako laughed. “Oh, no, don’t tell me I just scared away your lunch. C’mon, you’re eating with me. Merle too, wherever he is.”

“I think Merle went over to the games?” He jerked his head over to the can game, where Merle was talking to the vendor. As they walked over, Magnus could hear him asking about a practice throw, before winding his arm back and tossing the ball. The top three cans fell, and the vendor shook his head.

“Aw, so close! Damn! That’ll be five thousand gold pieces, please.” The vendor leaned forward, effectively looming over Merle, and Magnus stepped forward to provide support for his friend.

Merle shook his head, and put his hands on his dress-covered hips. “That was a practice throw!”

The vendor smirked, still leaning down to Merle. His smile was downright bloodthirsty when he said “I don’t remember anything about a practice throw.”

“I have two burly witnesses here that  _ remember _ that.” Merle didn’t look behind himself for confirmation that Magnus was there, but Magnus guessed he didn’t need to - Magnus wasn’t a particularly quiet individual.

The vendor glanced at Magnus, who crossed his arms, flexing his biceps as he did. Out of the corner of Magnus’s eye, he saw Taako stand to his full height, hand on the umbrella at his side. The vendor leaned back, chuckling nervously as he brought his hands up in front of his chest. “Alright! Easy, tiger! Easy, tiger!”

Merle continued, undeterred. “Okay. All right, how about double or nothing? Let me throw another one.” He stood there, hands on his hips, enchanted cotton tentacles moving around him of their own volition.

The vendor paused for a moment, then shrugged. “Double or nothing sounds good!”

They chatted for a few more moments, then Merle threw the ball again. He threw the ball so perfectly, a single tear came to Magnus’s eye.

All but one of the cans fell away, but the bottom left can stayed, almost like it had been glued to the counter. A moment later, a spectral blue mage hand reached over and knocked the last can down.

Immediately, a discordant alarm sounded. “Uh oh, magic alert, magic alert!” The vendor looked ecstatic as he yelled out the words, and Magnus could feel people looking at them, now. “We got a couple’a cheaters here!”

As the vendor yelled for them to hold out their hands, Taako rolled his eyes. “Listen, it’s not the worst thing that’s been stamped on my hand this week. Let me tell you.” Magnus held out his hand so the vendor could smack ‘cheater’ on the back of it, then stepped to the side.

The three meandered over to the main viewing area, where Leon was handing out the eclipse glasses. He silently handed Magnus and Merle each a pair, but grimaced as he handed a pair to Taako, who grinned wide in response.

Magnus put them on, feeling pretty cool, and saw very dim outlines of Merle and Taako do the same, just as the sky began to darken-

A piercing, cacophonous shriek blasted through the air as the sky turned black, and Magnus stared up at the alien sky. Millions of bright white eyes stared back.

* * *

Magnus leaned against the Counter of Taako’s Tasteful Trinkets and Treats, trying to get a glimpse into the blue canvas of the Mystery Bag. Taako, surprisingly, was not at the counter, and Magnus felt confident enough that he wouldn’t get caught. On tiptoes, he stretched his body as far as he possibly could, trying to look into the bag. Suddenly, Taako’s face was there, nose to nose with his.

“Maggie, what the fuck. You know the rules.” Taako crossed his arms as Magnus stepped back, looking equal parts amused and annoyed. “No one gets to look in the bag unless it’s bought.  _ I _ don’t even know what’s in there.”

“C’mon, Taako,” Magnus wheedled, trying to emulate the puppy dog eyes he had mastered in his youth. “Please, just let me take one peek?”

Taako looked a bit flustered. “Do you- what’s the point of it being a mystery bag if I’m gonna ruin- if it wasn’t a-” Taako huffed, putting a hand to his face and covering his eyes. “If I ruin the mystery, my dude, then it’s just a bag.”

Magnus pouted, but backed off. At that moment, Merle stepped up, eyes locked on the Mystery bag. “Hey, do you guys know what’s in there?”

Taako groaned.

Garfield stepped up to the register, holding several items, including a bulky, angular package labeled a “pocket spa”. Magnus knew Garfield was going to try to make a deal, and stepped back accordingly.

Taako was the picture of begrudging customer service, ringing everything up silently and quickly. “That’ll be 1600 gold pieces.”

Garfield paused, then asked “How would you like to-”

Taako cut him off, waving his hand to the exit with a shine of glittery green nail polish. “Get the fuck out of my store. Please.” He then watched until Garfield left the premises, and turned to Magnus. “Are you going to try to make a deal, too?” There was humor in his voice, but Magnus had no doubt that he would be tossed out on the same way if he tried to haggle.

So instead he said “Do you still offer discounts?”

Taako looked at the both of them for a moment, eyes narrowed, before shrugging. “I can, but I don’t always. See, unlike Garth Brooks, or whatever his name is,” He waved to the door again, “I don’t like to deal in physical items, with my barters. I deal in favors.”

Magnus cocked his head, confused, and heard Merle shift on his feet. “What kind of favors?” Merle sounded wary, and Magnus caught his meaning at the same time as Taako.

“Oh, gross, my dude, I’m not talking about  _ sexual favors _ , oh my gods.” Taako looked actively nauseous as he talked to Merle, and Magnus started chuckling at the uneasy look on both of their faces.

“Okay. You’re gross. Okay.  _ I, _ ” Taako pointed to himself, “offer discounts based on services  _ you _ ,” he pointed to the both of them, “Provide. It can be a specific offer, like help me clean up the store on a certain day, or it can be a favor I call upon later when I need it.  _ No sex _ . Get it?” He looked frustratedly at Merle, then Magnus.

Magnus nodded. “Seems fair enough. How much would a favor later get me now?”

Taako looked over his purchases. “Hmm… how much do you have?”

“Uh,” Magnus quickly checked his coin pouch. “Hm, 705 gold, that’s it.” He glanced back up at Taako, who was looking him up and down.

“Protection fighter, strong, woodcarver…” Taako considered his options, mumbling to himself as he thought. “Okay. 3 favors.”

“Deal,” Magnus said as Taako finished ringing up his purchases. He stepped aside, letting Merle step up fully to the counter. Magnus desperately wanted to look inside the mystery bag, but he wanted to wait for his friends before he opened it.

When Merle finished his purchase (also giving a favor to Taako, which he grumbled about), Magnus finally opened the bag. Inside was something Magnus could honestly say he never expected to see.

“Is that a fucking goldfish?”


	4. Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is actually unbeta'd, sorry for any mistakes! And i know i've been gone awhile, but. Yeah. Here ya go.

Lucretia tells you more about her plans the next night, as she rents a room with two beds from a tavern a few towns over. Your Disguise Self is carefully woven, but you’re still scared someone’s going to touch you and know.

As you follow her to the room, she tells you about her project. “I’m calling it the Bureau of Balance. I want to provide, well.” Lucretia laughs, and the sound is so familiar to you, and you can almost place it. Then your brain fills with static again. “I have a few people willing to work with me, but I have a lot of space. I have room for places, like a store, a restaurant-”

“No food.” Your voice comes out the strongest it’s been in weeks, and Lucretia looks at you with surprise. You meet her gaze and hold it. “No food.”

After a brief moment, she nods, continuing. “We have buildings that need businesses in them, and adventurers that need gear. How would you feel about running a store?”

You watch her with wary eyes. She doesn’t know the full extent of what you did, but she knows you want out of the public eye. She knows you don’t want to be around people.

At the look on your face, she babbles on. “I mean, it’s a very secluded base. No one would be there except for people I trust. They’re not going to care about whatever you did down here.” At the last few words, she rests a hand on the middle of the table, like she was going to reach for you and thought better of it.

“And me.”

She looks confused. “What do you mean, Taako?”

You know you’re getting frustrated, but you don’t really care. “People you trust, and me.”

Lucretia looks at you with pity. She looks at you like she knew who you were before you killed 40 people, and she finds you lacking now.

Lucretia says “I trust you.” Lucretia says “Taako, you’re shaking.” Lucretia says “Let’s just get some rest.”

You close your eyes, and Lucretia doesn’t say anything for a while.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Lucretia waits as you try to get words out. You don’t know why it’s hard, all of a sudden, to speak. You’ve been so good at it all your life, and now it fails you when you need it most.

“I don’t.” You breathe, and you open your mouth, and you force words out of your throat. “I don’t want pity. So if that’s why…” Your breath goes ragged, and you wonder why this is so fucking _hard_ for you. This shouldn’t be hard. Why can’t you just say what you fucking _mean._

“Taako, I’m not offering a position out of pity. I’m offering it because I need people, and despite what you believe, I think you’re a good person.” She smiles at you, sitting regally on the corner of her rented bed. “I like to work with good people, Taako.”

You look at her, and you breathe, and you think. She’s lying to you, of course. She doesn’t know you, and even if she did she would know not to trust you.

But, fuck. You need a job, and to not deal with people. A store on a base hidden in the sky kind of sounds like the perfect place to hide for a while. Maybe even forever.

You accept her offer. If she regrets this, she’ll just have to deal with it.

A few hours later you both leave the inn, headed for Goldcliff. She’s meeting with the people building the base, and you for sure are not going to let anyone plan your store without your input.


End file.
